Something To Hold Onto
by Becki
Summary: Missing scenes from between book four and book five involving Remus and Sirius. Spoilers for both GoF and OotP.


Title: Something To Hold Onto  
  
Author: Shimee  
Rating: PG-13  
Genre: Angst, drama,   
Warnings: Nothing that I can see.  
Summary: Missing scenes from between book four and book five involving Remus and Sirius. Spoilers for both GoF and OotP. Short Piece.   
   
Comments: SPOILERS. Just something I thought of a while ago that I hadn't got around to writing till now. Comments would be very welcome!! Oh and the song is called Give by Custom. Disclaimer: HP characters aren't mine. Alas. If they were Sirius would still be with us... 

****

'A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky – and a huge motorbike fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.'

        'Hagrid,' said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. 'At last. And where did you get that motorbike?'

        'Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir,' said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorbike as he spoke. 'Young Sirius Black lent it me.'

 - (Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone) 

'That will do to be going on with,' said Dumbledore, stepping between them once more. 'Now I have work for each of you. Fudge's attitude, though not unexpected, changes everything. Sirius, I need you to set off at once. You are to alert Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher – the old crowd. Lie low at Lupin's for a while, I will contact you there.'

'But – ' said Harry.

He wanted Sirius to stay. He did not want to say goodbye again so quickly.

'You'll see me very soon, Harry,' said Sirius, turning to him. 'I promise you. But I must do what I can, you

understand, don't you?'

        'Yeah, ' said Harry. 'Yeah...of course I do.'

Sirius grasped his hand briefly, nodded to Dumbledore, transformed again into the black dog, and ran the length of the room to the door, whose handle he turned with a paw. Then he was gone.

 - (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) "We give ourselves  
A beginning a middle and an end  
We look for love  
And a couple of friends  
It's how you see it  
Not what you see  
You don't really know much  
Just what you believe  
Give me something to hold onto  
Give me something to keep  
You don't have to give it all  
Just enough to let me sleep  
You don't have to give it all." 

Remus sighed and looked once again out of the window at the stormy weather outside. Gale force winds, torrential rain, not the kind of weather you usually get for summer time. He lifted up his mug with both hands and took another sip of the hot tea, and turned back to look at the fire, burning brightly in the fireplace. 

        Something was wrong. He could feel it in his bones. The storm had come on suddenly and without warning as if brought on by some evil not from with Earth. 

He shook himself suddenly out of his thoughts and turned back to the book sitting on his lap as he sat curled up on the sofa. He'd just managed to get another paragraph read when he heard a faint bark and scratching sounds coming from the hallway. His ears pricked slightly, his amazing hearing picking up the slightest sounds even in this din. It was definitely something scratching, and then there was the barking again. He placed the book on the table frowning and carefully pulled out his wand from his robe as he stood.

        Moving carefully towards the hallway he kept listening. The scratching was coming from the front door. Someone or something was outside. He heard the barking clearer and felt the familiar stirrings in him. He knew that bark. 

        Quickly he strode the length of the hall and unlocked the door before pulling it open, and there, on the doorstep sat a huge black dog that was looking like a drowned rat. The poor thing was soaked through and had his paw up as if he was just about to scratch the door again. The dog also appeared to be shivering so Remus quickly stepped aside, trying to hold the door tight again the gale force winds, as the dog moved to enter the house.

        "Sirius?"

He closed the door with some effort, as the dog turned and shook himself violently. Remus tried to shield himself and made a groaning, slightly angry sound.

        "Hey Sirius not in here!!"

The dog stopped, then transformed back into his human form. Sirius' hair was hanging down, sticking to his face, his clothes looked like he'd gone swimming in them and water was running down his face, arms and legs. He was shivering violently, his arms wrapped around his front, trying to keep warm.

        "Why d-d-d-d-do you have t-t-to live s-s-s-s-so far away!"

He said his teeth chattering.

        "Quickly, in here."

Remus said, putting a hand on his back and pushing him into the lounge and close to the fire. He pulled out his wand and muttered a short incantation and suddenly Sirius was dry but still freezing cold.

Remus went to the airing cupboard and grabbed a large towel while Sirius just stood in the lounge shaking slightly.

        "Here."

Remus said pulling the towel around him tightly and moving him closer to the fire. Sirius just stood there shuddering while Remus ran his hands up and down Sirius' arms trying to warm them. Looking up he noticed Sirius staring at him.

        "What?"

        "Does this remind you of that time when we woke up in the woods in the early hours on the morning? Prongs and Wormtail had disappeared off somewhere and it was pouring with rain?"

For a moment Remus stood there blankly, them a smile spread across his face.

        "Yeah! We were soaking by the time we'd managed to get out of the woods and into the castle and all James and Peter could do was laugh at us as we tried to warm each other up by the fire. We were so cold we didn't even think of using our wands."

Sirius smiled.

        "I've missed you mate."

Sirius pulled Remus into a bear hug, which was accepted.

        "Look, take a seat by the fire, I'll go and get you some clean clothes."

Remus told him, then left the room. Sirius sat down on the arm chair closest to the fire, still shaking slightly, and held his frozen fingers out towards the fire, waiting for that tingling feeling to tell him he was getting the feeling back in them.

        Remus soon returned with a clean set of clothes and told Sirius he'd lit the fire in the guest room for him. Sirius thanked him and went upstairs, while Remus made another pot of tea to warm them up with.

        Sirius soon joined him back in the living area in clean dry clothes and looking a lot warmer. He took a seat at the other end of the sofa, casually leaning back at an angle and putting one knee up on the sofa. He accepted the tea with a thanks and took a quick sip.

        "What are you doing here, Sirius? Something's happened hasn't it? You wouldn't have risked coming here if it hadn't."

Sirius took a huge gulp of his tea before sighing and looking back at Remus' worried expression.

        "He's back Remus. He's back."

Remus' eyes widened for a moment, before he looked down with an almost 'I knew it' look on his face.

        "How?"

        "The Triwizard cup in the middle of the maze was a port key."

        "Harry – "

Sirius nodded.

        "He's alive – luck appeared to be on his side. Him and this other kid Digor, Diggey or something were transported to some other place and the other killed was killed."

        "Diggory? Cedric Diggory?"

        "Sounds about right, yeah."

Remus closed his eyes for a moment.

        "He was such a bright kid..."

        "Anyway..." Sirius pulled him out of his sad thoughts to carry on his story. "Peter helped him with a spell, something to do with using bone of the father, flesh of the servant and blood of the enemy."

        "Harry's blood?"

        "Yeah. And bloody Peter's flesh. Well, whatever it was worked and he's back to full power. He tried to kill Harry but their wands did the Priori Incantatum. The reverse Spell Effect. He saw Lily and James, Remus. That's gotta be hard."

Remus nodded.

        "So how did he get away?"

        "I don't know. Bit of luck, bit of skill. He said Lily, James and Cedric told him to get to the port key and somehow he managed it and was sent back to the maze. Moody wasn't Moody. He was that Barty Crouch's son who'd been holding Moody drugged up in his own chest. Dumbledore sent me here to get hold of all the old Order crowd – Arabella, Mundungus, and to stay here and lie low for a while."

Remus stayed quiet for a time taking all this in.

        "I knew this was coming, I think we all did. But not this soon."

He looked to be cracking slightly and Sirius remembered the full moon had just been so he probably feeling tired and slightly vulnerable.

        "Remus, it's going to be different this time." He said leaning forward. "We knew in advance this time. He can get better prepared, get more people on our side. There's more time this time."

        "It's just...I don't want to lose more friends again. Last time was Lily and James – what's to stop it being you, or Harry this time?"

        "You can't think like that Remus and you know it. It'll be okay, I promise you. We'll be better prepared, we can get an army sorted this time. And we can get that little rat this time."

He said, his teeth gritted in anger and revenge. Remus thought this through for a moment, then nodded.

        "You're right. You're right."

Sirius could hear the slight determination in his voice.

        "I'm always right."

Remus smiled.

        "We'd better get contacting. I have an old photo upstairs of the old crowd, that'll help us with who to contact. The sooner the better, because if their weather is anything like this, then they'll know something's going on."

Remus stood and strode up the stairs to find the photo while Sirius finished his tea, took another sigh, then stood up ready to act.

*****

"I gave myself  
A beginning a middle and an end  
Still look for love  
And have a couple of friends  
That's how I see it  
But it's not what I see  
You don't really know me  
I'm not what I seem." 

By the next morning they'd managed to contact everyone, all of them ready and willing to fight once again on the good side. A couple of them had even mentioned a few others that might be of help. Kingsley had mentioned Nymphadora Tonks for one, a name Sirius recognised at once as being a relative. They slept the rest of the day away, and both woke up in the early hours of the morning, still feeling exhausted; Sirius from his long cross country run and Remus from the full moon. 

They both slumped down at the kitchen table, not having said much to each other yet. They'd contacted so many people and they all had questions that Remus couldn't answer, all he kept saying was that he or Dumbledore would let them know when they knew. Unfortunately Sirius was of no help because they all still figured him to be an escaped convict that helped Voldemort kill his best friends.

        Sirius stood, his stomach having rumbled once again and started to raid the cupboards. Most cupboards were half empty and there was nothing he could find to satisfy his appetite.

        "Don't you have anything in the way of food, Remus?"

He moaned.

        "I did. But as you might recall my appetite tends to go up just before the full moon. I haven't been shopping yet."

Sirius turned to him, leaning back on the counter.

        "Well, now's your chance. Shops will be open about now, and if I recall there's one just at the end of the road."

        "If you're that hungry why don't you go and sit on the doorstep. As I recall they just love dogs, there's always some type of dog food waiting outside. In fact there's a couple people around here that own dogs – you might be able to scrounge something from them."

Remus mumbled, putting his head in his arms.

        "Ha ha." Sirius said sarcastically. "Come on mate. A man's gotta eat. I'm sure you must be hungry."

        "Not at all."

He replied just before his own stomach rumbled.

        "Ah ha! You are hungry! I know that sound. That's the sound of a man that needs food."

He pointed accusingly at Remus who sat up, his hands raised in defence.

        "Ok, ok fine. I'll go and get something. You don't happen to have any money do you?"

        "Do I look like a man that has money?"

        "Good point." Remus agreed. "Ok. I'll go and grab something for breakfast and you...take a shower you smell!"

Sirius hit him in the arm half playfully, half hurt. Remus just laughed and slumped tiredly out of the room, rubbing his eyes. Sirius watched him leave, a small smile on his face.

        *It's almost like old times.* He thought to himself. *Old friends having a playful banter, amidst the growing threat of evil lurking in the shadows waiting to strike. 

        He shook himself out of his thoughts and heading for the stairs as he heard the front door close.

*****

"Give me something to hold onto  
Give me something to keep  
You don't have to give it all  
Just enough to let me sleep  
You don't have to give it all  
Give me something to hold onto  
Give me something to keep." 

An hour later and the both of them were back at the kitchen table, both clean and with full stomachs. 

        "Thanks buddy."

Sirius said, leaning back and stretching.

        "Don't mention it."

Remus mumbled over the newspaper.

        "Nothing." He said a few moments later as he closed the paper. "Absolutely nothing."

        "Did you really expect anything?"

Remus shook his head.

        "No." He said honestly. "But I did think they'd mention the Triwizard Tournament, or even Cedric's death. But there's nothing. It's as if the whole thing hasn't happened."

        "They're probably just working their way through it. I wonder how Harry's doing?"

        "He'll be okay. As you said Mrs Weasley's there with him. And Professor Dumbledore will keep a close eye on him."

        "Mm."

Was all Sirius replied. Remus could see that his thoughts were still on his Godson, and he suddenly had an idea of how to get Sirius out of his brooding. Remus knew that if he let it continue Sirius would be in a bad mood all day.

        "Come on."

Remus said, standing suddenly.

        "Where to?"

Sirius' eyes lifted up, his head still resting in his hand, elbow balanced on the table.

        "I've got something to show you. Come on."

He gestured to the back door. Sirius pulled himself up and, grumbling slightly, he followed Remus out into the warm morning weather. Remus led the way down the overgrown garden and to a rickety shed at the bottom. Pulling his wand out he muttered an unlocking spell and pushed open the door, then gestured for Sirius to go in first.

        He entered the dingy shed and looked around. There was nothing in there, empty shelves held nothing but dust; the ceiling cobwebs. But in the middle of the room stood something under a large dust sheet. He looked to Remus.

        "Go on them. Take a look."

He said smiling. Sirius frowned. He had no idea what Remus could be showing him. Grabbing hold of one corner he pulled. Metal gleamed brightly from under it, and as his eyebrows furrowed slightly he pulled harder and the sheet slid off completely. Underneath stood his motorbike. Remus had obviously cleaned it because it was shining brighter than when he'd first bought it.

        He opened his mouth to speak, staring at it as if it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seem, but he couldn't find any words.

        "How...how..."

Was all he could manage.

        "Hagrid had it. When I arrived to teach at the school Hagrid said he had something he wanted me to have. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about so once I'd settled in I went to see him. He took me to one of the old sheds, you know where us four used to hang out if we wanted to be alone – and there it was. He said he'd kept it after hearing what had happened to you. Didn't know what to do with it. He said he was going to give it to me afterwards, so I could do what I wanted with it. I think one of the suggestions was to blow it up. But he never had to chance to and of course I went away soon after that and didn't stay in contact with anyone. It obviously hadn't been ridden for years and was covered in dust and mud. 

        "To be honest I was just going to leave it there to rust and fall apart. I was hoping at the time that that was what was happening to you, but then, at the end of the year...I just brought it back with me. I cleaned it, polished it, fixed the engine and the rust and here you go. Good as new."

He smiled again and watched as Sirius stepped closer and brushed his hand alone one of the handles before gripping it slightly.

        "I don't know what to say..."

He sounded shocked and slightly emotional which made Remus laugh inwardly.

        "You don't have to say anything. It's yours. I just retrieved it."

        "You know it's like...like I suddenly got a part of my old life back...and after all these years. All I ever wanted was to go back. Fix the mistake I made of getting James to make Peter the secret keeper, of ever suspecting that you would go over to the dark side." He turned to face Remus. "I'm sorry."

        "You've already told me that and I've already forgiven you. If I was in the same boots I would have thought the same. Who would have suspected a weak, young boy over a werewolf, hm?"

        "You know this is one of the last possessions I had on me before everything started to go wrong. And now I've got it back. It's like a reminder that maybe now...or in the near future...things are going to start going right for once. I've got a second chance to look out for my Godson, protect the people I love and not suspect them of being death eaters. Then maybe one day the truth will come out and I'll be a free man. Wouldn't that be great."

        "Yes it would."

Remus smiled.

        "Come on – lets have a go on this old thing. See if she still flies."

        "Sirius, you know I won't get on that thing – and you know that you shouldn't – someone will see you – even if you wait until dark."

        "They won't if you put a Disillusionment Charm on me and the bike – I know you can. Come on, hm? Please?"

Remus looked at Sirius' pleading face and lit up eyes and couldn't help but smile.

        "Ok. But not until dark, until the early hours of the morning and only for a little while. I'll put a silencing charm on the both of you as well so you don't wake anyone up with the sound of the motor – it's the loudest thing I've ever heard." 

Sirius grabbed Remus' arms and pulled him into a hug. 

        "Thanks mate. For everything."

        "No, thank you."

*****

"Are you half empty   
What have they stolen  
Are you half full  
What did they fill you with  
Give me something to hold onto  
Give me something to keep  
You don't have to give it all  
Just enough to let me sleep." 

Nearly a month later and things were slowly getting sorted. It had taken that long to get people contacted, gathered, told about Sirius' innocence. He'd offered his old home as a place for the Order to hold their meetings and it had been charmed up to the eyeballs in spells to conceal it from the wrong people, and the Weasley's had moved in, by Dumbledore's wishes, and had started to clean the place.

        Once they'd got the hall and kitchen done, Dumbledore sorted out for one huge meeting for all Order members to be told exactly what they'd found out and what they were planning for the future.

        People started to arrive from as early as lunchtime so as not to draw too much attention to loads of people meeting at once, and they came in small droves throughout that afternoon so by 8pm they were gathered in the kitchen that was amazingly full. Everyone, and I mean everyone welcomed Sirius thankfully and happily, and apologised for ever thinking he would do that to James and Lily. He accepted their apology, feeling full of high spirits because he was seeing old friends and being welcomed like he hadn't been for twelve long years.

        The kitchen was full to the brim and only standing room was left when Dumbledore arrived and greeted them all. He looked around at the faces before speaking. So many familiar faces. Moody, Remus, Kingsley, Sirius, Dedalus, Emmeline, Sturgis, Hagrid, Elphias, Hestia, Severus, Minerva, Filius, and so many other faces, new faces to the order  – Tonks standing out the clearest with bright red hair, Arthur and Molly, Bill and Charlie. Arabella was missing of course as was Mundungus as both were keeping an eye on Harry. He watched as Molly handed out cups of tea and coffee, and cakes and biscuits were passed around. It appeared that now everyone was together, hopes had risen, there was a lot more of them this time around than there was last time.

        "Welcome to 12 Grimmauld Place." He called out finally. Silence immediately followed, and he smiled. "So many faces, so many friends old..." He smiled at Moody who was looking slightly suspicious of everyone. "...and new..." He moved his smile to Tonks who looked eager. "This kind of gathering of friends, acquaintances is what we need now in these troubled times. As you all know Voldemort is back. "

A huge shudder went through them, Dumbledore waited patiently for a moment before continuing.

        "From now on he will be known as Voldemort and you will have to get used to that. His name is not something you should fear, because it makes the fear you have for him 10 fold. Now you all know what happened to Harry at the end of last year, what you don't know is that Voldemort used an old spell to bring him back to full power. That spell included using Harry's blood which broke the old spell given to Harry by his mother and so Voldemort is now able to touch him once again."

A whispered mumble went around.

        "Now I know you all think that this is bad, but for us it's actually going to help. Because it means that Voldemort is now mortal, and all the work he did on making himself immortal and not human is gone. This gives us the advantage. Severus Snape," He gestured to the dark figure in a corner. "Has kindly and at his own peril, gone back to Voldemort as a death eater, and to be a double agent for us. He has found out that Voldemort has decided to find out fully what the prophesy says about him and Harry. Now this prophesy is hidden deep within the Department of Mysteries and Voldemort knows he can't get to it, so we have to stop others getting to it. Here's what I plan."

He went through everything he had planned, telling people what their jobs would be – a lot of them were what they used to be 12 years ago, specifically Snape's. He asked for volunteers to go and pick up Harry and had a huge number of raised hands go up and he accepted all of them. Moody was to be in charge of that, although Sirius was told he couldn't and Dumbledore said he'd have a word afterwards. 

        Unfortunately for Sirius, he'd been told by Dumbledore that he wasn't allowed to leave the place for his own safety. A fact that Sirius could care less for at the moment while Harry was stuck at the Dursleys. Plus the fact that he'd barely been out of Azkaban, and now he was stuck in the retched place that housed so many bad memories – his mother wasn't helping. Screaming at the top of her lungs every other hour.

        He slumped back into the kitchen with Remus, having just shut the curtains on the old hag again, where Mrs. Weasley was busy cleaning. They'd started on the hall, then had moved onto the kitchen deciding that it seemed the best place to hold their meetings. Ron and the others had all had to clean their own rooms up and make them suitable for living in. For the first few days they'd all had to sleep in the same room, because it had taken all of them all day to get it cleaned and suitable for living in.

        "Well, I must say this certainly isn't my idea of freedom."

Sirius said bitterly as he sat down at the table.

        "You know it's for the best Sirius." Remus said. "Voldemort will know by now that you're an animagus so it won't be safe for you to leave anymore."

        "So? Hey, I know. Why don't you disillusion me again and let me take a spin on my bike? It's dark outside, it'll be fine."

        "You know I can't Sirius. Besides how would Harry feel if when we bring him here tomorrow, you've been caught and tortured by Voldemort."

Sirius looked away, grumbling, but agreeing all the same.

        "It's just so unfair. If I'd have known being part of the Order would have been being stuck in here cleaning for the good of wizard kind everywhere, I would have said no and been on my way."

        "You don't mean that."

Remus said, smiling slightly.

        "No, you're right, I don't. But maybe if I had then Harry wouldn't have been attacked by those damn Dementors."

Sirius admitted.

        "Don't worry too much Sirius, dear." Molly said, sounding unusually kind to him for once. "Once Harry gets here tomorrow night things will be okay. He can look after himself that boy – he managed to fight off those two terrible creatures by himself. Poor dear."

        "That's what I'm worried about. He's like James in that way. And we did some foolish things back then. If you hadn't been there to keep us reined Remus..."

        "Don't worry about him. He's got Hermione to keep him grounded."

        "She's got her head screwed on that girl has." Molly said agreeing. "She might even get some sense into Ron and the twins one of these days. And Lord do they need some sense. They could have learnt a thing or two off Percy - "

She stopped talking suddenly and placed two plates in front of them.

        "Now eat up."

She said, a small lump in her throat, before she left.

        "Oh dear. That's the second time today."

Remus said. Sirius just mumbled, his mouth full of potatoes.

        "Hungry?"

Remus asked him. Sirius nodded.

        "Well, we have to keep our strength up if we're to start on the living room tomorrow."

He replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Remus stopped eating and watched him for a moment.

        "You know he's doing it for the best, don't you. He's only trying to keep you safe."

        "I know he is." Sirius replied quietly. "But I feel like I'm going to go madder in here than when I was in Azkaban."

        "It'll be over soon. We've got a good head start. Then things can start going back to what they should be. Maybe we can get that flat we were going to get after school. Sell this place, or maybe even get a house, then Harry can come and stay with us in the holidays. What do you say?"

Remus asked him. Sirius smiled.

        "It's a plan. And I'm holding you to that. It's the only thing I've got to look forward to."

Remus held his hand out, Sirius took it and they shook.

        "Deal."

        "Deal."

Sirius smiled, then continued eating, a feeling of hope now settled in his heart.

"You don't have to give it all  
You don't have to give it all  
You don't have to give it all  
Just enough to let me sleep." The End. Well? What did you guys think? I know it's just a short piece but it's something that's been on my mind a while. I'd always wondered what had happened to his bike so I thought I'd write about it. Do you think this was a good idea. I'm not sure about the last part – I wrote it rather quickly and I think it could have done with some more work. Becki xx 


End file.
